UPDATE: I wrote this entry when I was using a different system to lock up at night- one that couldn't be used for short periods of time. With the time lock safe you can lock up for a few minutes or hours if you need to, to feel safe. However I feel that this entry still relates important information about choices and cooperation.
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I am very excited to create this: my first post in response to a reader's question! The question is this: setting up a whole backwards security system so your parts don't go out at night is great- but can't they just get into trouble during the day?
This question has a few different answers. The first answer is no. While the security system we use could potentially benefit anyone with DID, we specifically designed it and use it because we both have a background in organized ritual abuse. I could type for hours about the complex way those from our pasts have tried to set us (specifically our parts) up to always return. Most if not all of the things we were involved in directly relating to that happen at night, so having the house locked up at bedtime prevents engagement with that type of trauma behavior.
However the second answer is yes. Yes, they can just get into trouble during the day. I personally definitely have parts that have engaged in both illegal and immoral activities during the day.
For many people, the way their brain has set up dissociation, the "switching" or "loosing time" is pretty seamless. After you realize that it is something that goes on in your life, though, you can learn to catch it. You'll take a "nap" and when you wake up you are in bed instead of on the couch. Time has suddenly passed you by. Friends mention doing something with you that you don't remember doing.
Once you can see it, and with a little bit of effort, you can be sure you haven't lost time. For everyone, and in every situation, this is going to look different. One idea would be to get together with a friend you trust. If you are still with the friend, you know you haven't gone off and done anything crazy by yourself.
For me, because of the work I've done in therapy, I am familiar with many of my parts. Depending on who I feel "close" to me, I choose not to ever take naps. I know that the minute I "fall asleep" (the body doesn't- just my part of the mind) some of my parts will take advantage of the situation and do things I'd rather they not do. So, on those days, I force myself to stay up, and stay out. I go to the mall and wander, read at a coffee shop, or put in a little extra time at the office. I'll ask my roommate to text me when she gets home, then when she does, I'll go home as well.
It all goes back to there always being a choice- but the choices just being much more complicated for those of us who dissociate. I don't have the direct choice to obey the law or not obey the law when it comes right down to the act- but I do have the choice to go home and take a nap, or stay at work an extra hour. Take the thing you feel you don't have a choice over, then work the steps leading up to it backwards- somewhere along there, there WILL be a place where you can insert a choice. If you have any questions, be sure to let me know!
